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Wednesday, May 15, 2024

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    Port Harcourt Keke Riders Are Different

    The keke drivers of Woji are different from the others I’ve encountered in other parts of Port Harcourt. Keke drivers of Woji are like native goats. They no dey hear word or see road well.

    Years ago when I still lived with my parents, I was returning home from somewhere and I boarded a keke at 1st Artillery heading to Woji Town Hall. All was fine and good as we went on the ride until we got to Rumuogba and met a wonderful traffic hold up. At this time, they hadn’t finished working on the Trans-Slaughter bridge so everyone still had to ply the railway road thus the heavy traffic jam.

    As usual, keke drivers never stay in the line and are never patient. They must meander like worms until they leave the traffic wahala or they jam someone’s car. 🤦🏽‍♀️

    This particular one whose keke I boarded, I think he had a mission that day because why on earth would you be struggling to bypass a trailer on such a road? He kept trying to sneak his sardine-container vehicle to the front of the trailer, and the trailer driver kept moving forward to block him. I cautioned him to stop doing what he was doing but he ignored me.

    Lo and behold, this keke ewu driver decided to be brave and wanted to “scare” the trailer man to let him pass. Na so the trailer driver cut hand right and “kissed” the keke small. Omo! Na so this Bournvita container wey I siddon inside nearly entered the deep gutter by our side. Chineke nna!

    Next thing everybody start to hala for the trailer o!
    “Dem send you?! You wan kpai us!”
    But una do like mutu since as una keke guy dey drive rubbish, una no talk.
    The keke ewu gingered by his mugu passengers (minus myself) tried to be brave again by trying to enter the front of the trailer.

    The trailer man “kissed” the keke again, only this time he did it a bit harder like a man who hadn’t seen his lover for years. The keke bounced. Everybody started shouting and calling on God.

    What did Winifred Nwa Nnamdi do? I jumped down from the keke driven by the fully-crazy-but-not-yet-diagnosed keke driver and walked away without paying a dime. I walked past the traffic jam and joined an empty keke that was turning towards my destination. Na so I reach house in one piece and good health.

    Keke drivers sha!

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