Why is it that people don’t understand me? (well those around me anyway). Or perhaps people have always been into themselves that they refuse to see anyone else. I just had a conversation with my girl and she was in her best. Had a list of “offences” which I committed and had punishment and stuff. And the funny thing was that all I could do was say “I am sorry” I mean seriously?
I told her about one and half weeks ago that my phone was bad and I will not be able to read Text messages until I had it fixed and still yet, she got mad at me for not sending her messages.
I am just here still shocked (more like amused) cos if I cant read any message, that will mean I might not be able to send any. She even told me if I wanted to make it right, I should not send her any message cos according to her, I have gotten less caring. She was right (well in her view) but seriously, if she passes through the level Oshodi shit I pass through, she would not even care about herself.
So I am here on the crossroads trying to figure out what I should so about this cos you could call me confused cos it is just both amusing. Don’t get me wrong, I agree that she has the right to be pissed but not this pissed(if it were me, I would be over it). I guess that is the beauty of life DIVERSITY. Some care about things like this and some don’t even remember the last time you text them.
Now back to me(sounds vain right? But this is my diary) I have no one I can truly call friend except maybe two people who I have not seen in about four months. This whole environment is filled with people I more with for convenience and it is killing. Don’t get me wrong I will stake my life for the guys I walk with here but I don’t expect them to do the same thing(not that they would anyway). They do have some touches but most of the Time, they are more occupied with things I just don’t get and when I drop my ideas and opinion, it seems like I am talking to the wind cos we are so different that I wonder how we even came together to even walk the same road.
I got my project supervisor(might have mentioned it earlier) and research is underway. I am keeping it real with watching cartoons(movies are a bore these days) even though everyone around me thinks only kids should watch such.
I know I sound self absorbed but honestly I am surrounded by people who think a guy and a girl cant just be friends without anything happening between them. People who think when a girl visits you, she wants something and people who believes that the proof of being a young guy is in how many girls you have been with.
I once had someone say that if a girl comes to visit you and you forcefully have intimacy with her without her consent, you did not violate her. I mean WTF.
I guess I have to keep sinking it all of this and taking it in but believe me, it is hard and driving me insane. About my girl, I intend to watch the situation cos I know there is more to this than meet the eye(I think there is not).
They say revenge is better served cold. I say it is better served served cold with a bucket of popcorn and a bottle of malt.
I once had a friend who told me I was sicilian. Reason was that he said I don’t let poo go. Why should I? If everyone who crosses you gets away with it what’s the point. Why would you hurt me and I will sit down and tell myself things like things happen for a reason and forgiveness heals faster than vengeance? I guess it had to do with my childhood. I was never really happy, not with school, home or anywhere else.
I was always to myself because everyone just did not understand me and that led to some people to actually think that I am quite. Someone even said I was an introvert once.
It is all perception I would say. No one have a formula to describe human emotions as it only takes a tiny spark for a quite person to explode. It will only take the smallest of events for the most loving to become the most bitter and it will only take the tiniest push for me to become me.
