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Monday, April 22, 2024

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    The impressionable 20 year old

    Obiora was an impressionable 20 year old (yes I will be using real names) . For some reason, he knew he could gain the trust of people and he always kept that trust. He seemed to be able to ease people’s pain and talk to them about what hurts them inside. It was not his fault that everything in his life had culminated to moments where he had come to hate the people around him. Then his hatred took another turn, helping people survive the monsters.

    His sister just moved into a new house and she wanted his company, it was fresh territory for him, a quiet estate where it seemed everyone did not talk to one another (heaven to him, who need people to talk to?) so he went. For the most part of the afternoon, he would be alone. He made the best of it. Buried himself in novels, music and his thoughts.

    Then he met her at the local convinience store. Bidemi was barely 16, just discovering herself and like most young women her age, trying to show her independence. He became her friend, tell her stories and pushing his thoughts into her young head, Ideas that seemed like blasphemy and heresy. Ideas of a strong woman, Ideas that she can be strong and the sky can be her limit if only she decided to stand her ground and stick to what’s right.

    She developed a crush on him. She wrote him a letter asking for his love (he carried it for years transfering from wallet to wallet to remember never to do a job half way). His enlightenment seemed to worked, she got confident, got bolder, her mind was being opened to stuff she never saw and she began to demand for more. She kept asking for what he could not give though…..what he would not give her. He found it wrong to date her, his mind found it wrong to like her beyond what it was.

    “I will be cheating her” Obiora had told himself “She does not measure up mentally and dating her will only mess her head up as I will so fûck with her head she will be blindsighted on all corners” he knew it was true. She might be ready for a relationship but not with someone who could read her mind. It was gonna be mental mollestation.

    Obiora’s mother noticed the friction and asked her son, he told her they were just friends and she dropped it. Her mom asked and the same answer rose, after months of trying to get his attention, she got tired and as a result of all the pent up emotions inside her she decided to date someone else.

    You see Obiora was opening her mind and she loved it, his teachings gave her strenght to overcome her domestic weakness and learn to block off the abuse she got around her but it also welled up her emotions. She had to love someone and since Obiora did not accept it, she gave in to someone else.

    Obiora’s declining made her pull away from him as she now found someone else. Someone who she could use what she had learnt on and she thought she could protect herself. The dangers of half education. She saw Obiora as a monster who would not love her. He tried being her anchor, but she wanted to go to the deep seas while being unprepared. 

    She lost her viginity in weeks, but she was in control right? She had being taught how to “maintain” She thought she could go through fire and not even sweat, she was bold. Too bold. She did not understand the concept of monsters. She never knew that as strong as she was getting mentally, she was not strong enough emotionally and physically yet for what she was doing and not mentally good enough to discern when to back out and walk.

    She thought she got his lessons and by that time, Obiora had walked away. Appalled by her withdrawal of friendship to be with her boyfriend. He had not taught her control and a whole lot.

    She was rapèd by 5 guys on the same bed she lost her virginity. The guy she chose to be the recipient of her love, the person who she though was a man cos he eased her pain and told her he would take on her emotions took off his human face and showed his hell.

    When Obiora heard months later, he was mad, crazy enough to hate the world and blamed himself. A whole lot of senerios crossed his mind and still does. What if I had agreed to date her if just to protect her? What if I had kept my ideas to myself?

    Now I lay on my bed battling insomnia remembering Bidemi. Her hair dark and her eyes so full of hope. I still see her from time to time but we never talk about what happened. I still go to that same store since my sister still lives there. Still a quiet estate where no one talks to one another.

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