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Wednesday, May 15, 2024

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    Being A Yoruba Demon

    Don’t lets focus on what was lost (in terms of my strenght and life force) Lawd I hate being sick. That feeling of being useless and vulnerable and just lying down there without being able to do anything. To even pick up a spoon felt like I was lifting a car and my thighs, well they felt like there were blocks placed on them. I am still weak, I feel it; my head still aches, my legs still hurt and my eyes still stray but I can string em all together for a longer period without having to give in. 

    Okay, so there has been talk that Yoruba boys are the worst of the worst. That they(wait, sorry we) are the best and have perfected the art of breaking hearts and we are all hoes. That we are all a pack of punny hungry, heart stealing, sense removing, lying, conniving, smooth talking bastards. Heck we are so horrible, they call us Demons. Hence the name “Yoruba Demons” am I one? *starts whistling and picks fingernails* 

    But seriously, how do you prove you are not something that is a result of hasty generalization when people wont allow you finish before concluding that you are? So the best thing to do? Own the freaking slander. People want to call us demons, we owned it and turned it into an identity. Its inly human nature or in this case, demon nature, as I was typing this, a Telegram message came in and a friend called me a “DEMONator” this won’t go anywhere. 

    That’s how one huge man-hoe here on NL who actually uses girls for target practice said he is better than me because he “gives the girls a taste of himself then he sleeps with em while me, I turn big brother or friendzone em” yes, I have that GEJ confused stance right now (if you dont know that GEJ confused stance, sorry) seriously, he just said if a girl shows slight interest in you, it is better to play along, have sex and disappear into the night raher than tell the truth. I am sure he attends more church services in a quarter than I do in a year… smh

    So imagine this, I ask a girl out, girl says she has a fiancee, I say, “oh, sorry, it seems like I harrased you, wont happen again”
    G: why
    Me: Your fiancee. I wouldn’t want to create problems as I though you are single. 
    G: I am single oooo. He is a Bf
    Me: same difference. I like to respect your privacy. 
    G: This means you dont mean all you have been saying
    Me: I like you but I respect you more

    Now consider that exchange. I sounded like a gentleman right? An angel like guy with no demonic intention that they have appropriated to yoruba boys until the girl(and her friends) goes out and say you are a “jew” and know nothing as that was a test then I sit your young funky ridiculously silly arse down and give you a lecture. 

    1. If you say you have a boyfriend, I assume it to be true and leave you, if it is a lie, that makes you a deceptive person, why would I want to date a deceptive person? 
    2. If it is a lie and you said it to test me, you are manipulative. By Thor, Sango, Amadioha and all the other gods of thunder i dont know, why will any sane guy want to date a manipulative girl? 

    Then you say he is not persistent cos he does not like you enough(I am here picking my fingers and laughing) would you rather have a persistent Yoruba Demon. That is available too oooo. And it comes with extra added feature of smooth talking, saying everything you like and even have the ability to make rain fall, most times, when you visit (we demons have evolved and can do things). 

    Is there a moral to all these? Yes, it is right in my aching demonic head

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