Wetin I never see for all the zoom meetings wey I don attend these past months?
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Moderator: Please mute yourselves so we don’t distract each other.
User 1 (audio, not on mute): Eeeemmm Ekene!!! Biko bring that cold malt from the fridge.
User 2 (audio, not on mute, on phone): I think you know say you no get sense?
User 3 (video): Brings out breast from bra, starts breastfeeding baby, looks into the camera, shouts and switches off the video.
Moderator: Please please, let us mute ourselves!!
Sanity prevails for 45 minutes.
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User 4 (Video): Partner with massive Ikebe is passing. User gets distracted and his eyes are just following bumbum instead of listening to meeting.
User 5 (audio): Children running around. One particular child, likely the last born, has reported his siblings three times.
User 6 (audio): Loud fart, twice.
User 7 (audio): Mr Man, if you like don’t come back this night. I am locking the door and you will sleep outside.
User 8 (audio): Dog in the background barking as if it has seen evil spirit.
Moderator: Please mute yourselves!!!
Sanity prevails for 60 minutes.
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User 9 (audio, just joining in from bus stop, with background noise): Oshodi Oke!! Oshodi Oke!! Wole pelu change e!! Oshodi Oke!!