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Monday, April 22, 2024

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    My Experience With Zoom Meetings

    Wetin I never see for all the zoom meetings wey I don attend these past months?

    Moderator: Please mute yourselves so we don’t distract each other.

    User 1 (audio, not on mute): Eeeemmm Ekene!!! Biko bring that cold malt from the fridge.

    User 2 (audio, not on mute, on phone): I think you know say you no get sense?

    User 3 (video): Brings out breast from bra, starts breastfeeding baby, looks into the camera, shouts and switches off the video.

    Moderator: Please please, let us mute ourselves!!

    Sanity prevails for 45 minutes.

    User 4 (Video): Partner with massive Ikebe is passing. User gets distracted and his eyes are just following bumbum instead of listening to meeting.

    User 5 (audio): Children running around. One particular child, likely the last born, has reported his siblings three times.

    User 6 (audio): Loud fart, twice.

    User 7 (audio): Mr Man, if you like don’t come back this night. I am locking the door and you will sleep outside.

    User 8 (audio): Dog in the background barking as if it has seen evil spirit.

    Moderator: Please mute yourselves!!!

    Sanity prevails for 60 minutes.

    User 9 (audio, just joining in from bus stop, with background noise): Oshodi Oke!! Oshodi Oke!! Wole pelu change e!! Oshodi Oke!!

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