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Sunday, February 25, 2024

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    Living In Face Me I Face You Requires Patience

    Face me I face you will make you understand that aye o pe meji. Let’s do a throwback.

    1. It’s sometimes called Face Me I slap you due to the incessant fights daily. E ma ja ju. If you don’t fight, someone will fight you. You must fight. “Ta lo gbe omi ti mo pon sibi?” (Ija de).

    2. You can never go hungry unless you don’t know your way around. Enter the kitchen at the backyard and start whining who’s cooking. Drop small gist about another neighbor, walahi waa jeun ju. Gbenusi no be atenu.

    Output – Gbeborun
    Input – Food

    3. There’s always that man who will claim he has been living in the house before the house was even built. They are always proud of the years they have lived there. They know everyone and when they were given birth to. (Ancestor Tenant)

    4. There will be this group of girls living together. They are always at home during the day except at night. Mothers always warn their children not to enter their room. “Ti mo ba ri e ninu yara awon Anti yen, maa fe lu e daku” but these sisters are always kind. 🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️

    5. There must be an old woman who settles a fight. Mama of the house. She is always sitting outside monitoring what is happening on the street. In most cases, she’s the landlady. They always have nicknames like “Iya Jeje” “Iya Kofewahala” “Iya Cele”.

    6. There’s always a landlord wannabe whom everyone hates. He acts like the landlord and he’s always like “Don’t pour waste there” “Pay your nepa bill” and “We will lock this gate by 7pm” bla bla. You will think his name is in the Landlord’s will but he’s a tenant too. Gboromideleru

    7. There must be a regular debtor who doesn’t pay his bills on time, he pays January bills by April. Always coming up with excuses. “My mama just die”, the same thing he said last year. Ogbontarigi onigbese

    8. One rich tenant must be in the house, he will keep buying things his landlord can never afford. He owes small rent but he’s using 4 ACs, 2 deep freezers, 17 flatscreen TVs, and 54 generators. The landlord hates him but he can’t send him away because omo buruku lojo tie.

    9. There’s always that Single Aunty who is neat. She will be between 35 to 40 years, speaks good English, and doesn’t like to mingle with other women in the house. (Children call her Aunty). It is the day you look for her trouble you will know that werey wa nle.

    10. Every Face Me I face you comes with a fight merchant who can fight till tomorrow. Always representing home and away (Street Fighter). Fijabi igboro 🙌. She will always come home with torn singlets. Werey tun ti lo ja. Everyone in the compound fears her. Even her parents.

    11. Nepa bill fight ✅, waste bill fight ✅, rent increment fight ✅, I entered the bathroom before you fight ✅, you poured water at my doorstep fight ✅, you beat my child fight ✅, you sent my child on an errand fight ✅, you talked about me behind my back fight
    your wife beat my wife fight ✅, you are dating my husband fight ✅, you used my water fight ✅
    At least, 16 fights per month. Tenanté de WWE 🙌.

    12. There’s this big boy who brings different girls home, fine room. Always disturbing everyone with loudspeakers

    13. There’s always a Gbeborun-General of the whole house. She sees everything, knows everything, and gossips about everything. The moment you hear “shey e ti gbo”, just know you are getting served. Her name is always mentioned during every fight. Olofofo

    14. Every morning, parents spend 5 hours bath one child outside. These boys are strong. I no dey bath, na by force

    15. Sunday meetings are always like this. The landlord is on the high table and everyone keeps ranting and ranting. After 465 suggestions, the landlord won’t do any. No item 7 sha o.

    16. Every house has that woman that can send children on errands ehn. All the children dislike her. The moment she enters the passage or calls a name, the children will run into their rooms and act like they are asleep. She will never go anywhere herself afi bi afishe.

    17. So far it’s a Face Me I face you in Bariga, you will always see this tanker every month. Awon kogbe kogbe. The entire street will smell for days but o ti mo wa lara.

    18. There’s always a woman who uses songs to insult people during any fight. These people can be very talented. She will use songs to insult and kickstart a fight. Tope Alabi from the Devil’s kingdom

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