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Thursday, February 29, 2024

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    How To Negotiate In Marriage


    My friend’s husband had asked that she close her restaurant because he had walked in at various times and found different men starring at her bum.

    Now let’s be real – You may think his reason is stu.pid, but I know her personally.

    She has an extremely attractive hip that even me, who is a woman, I would always touch her hips when I see her.

    If she turks in her shirt and walks past a fellow woman, you will stop and stare at her. Her hips are really very obvious and loud.

    All our other friends always talk about her hot hips that disturbs everywhere she steps into.

    So I honestly could relate with her husband and the men who were starring at her.

    Her husband asked that she starts any other business that reduces exposure to men. He promised to fund any other business.

    He clearly expressed that he was very uncomfortable with the way that men look at her.

    She had two worries:

    1. Cooking is her passion. Her mum still runs a massive restaurant in the East. Food business is her life.

    2. She had no clues about any other business and had so much fears about trying another.

    She came to me.

    Her husband is a good man who cares and loves her.

    He simply wants to be more comfortable and there’s no harm in asking your spouse to help you get more comfortable.

    I advised we try negotiating with her husband, and see if it will work.

    In negotiation, you simply understand what the other party wants and see how you can blend it with you want too.

    Her husband simply doesn’t want men starring at his wife. He has no problem with her restaurant.

    It therefore means that if she can reduce her exposure to men, he is fine.


    So we listed out our negotiation strategies:

    1. She will not have to sit or serve or stay too long in the customer eating area

    2. No fitted clothes. Just bubu and free dresses.

    3. Start to build an active online presence for her restaurant, so she gradually earns more online.

    4. She will hire a well-paid and motivated manager who can do the things she used to do. So she can sit back and plan her online business, with less exposure to the customers.

    She went to him, presented our negotiation points.

    He loved them.

    He even paid for someone to do a beautiful website for her.

    See eh, everything is not fight o.

    There is negotiation in marriage.

    Just understand what this other party wants and find a middle ground.

    May married people be blessed with a mind that truly is open to negotiating and finding middle points.

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