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    How To Ask For Money From Someone And Actually Get It


    I personally believe that everything in life is guided by rules.

    Sadly, they are mostly unspoken and unwritten rules.

    Your job as a person is to figure out these unspoken and unwritten rules so that you have more wins than losses.

    There is no point doing things that won’t get you the desired results.

    You are better off following the rules that guarantee a win.

    For me, these are the unwritten and unspoken rules about getting money from someone – whether relative or not.

    1. Build a relationship first. Be in talking terms first.
    2. Grow the relationship by showing some care. Maybe a phone call to ask “how are you?” maybe once in a quarter of the year
    3. Apply the law of reciprocity. Do something(s) that makes the person feel indebted to you.
      Maybe it’s a senior aunty you want to ask for money, you can visit one weekend and help her with cleaning.
    4. Give a gift. No matter how rich a person is, there is always something you can give.
      I remember working as a banker and my younger sister was living with me. The mere fact that she would change my toothbrush every month was such a beautiful gift for me.
      I was by far richer than her, but her monthly gifts were always so touching.
    5. Learn to ask. Ask nicely and politely without any sense of entitlement. Ask with good reason.

    Don’t say, “I saw that you bought a dress for Ada, so I came to ask for mine”.

    Just nicely say, “Aunty, please would you buy me this dress? My best friend is getting married and I feel obligated to dress nicely to her wedding”.

    1. Building the relationship, showing care, giving gifts and everything mentioned in 1 to 5 above should be a way of life, not a ploy to asking.

    Remember, you can do everything mentioned here, ask and not receive.

    But the truth remains that those who play by the rules have far higher chances of winning.

    Finally, to everything in life, there are exceptions.

    If you have a terminal disease and you need to ask people for help, you may not be able to fulfill these rules and I totally understand.

    For me, the greatest of these rules is BUILD VALUABLE RELATIONSHIPS, not just because you plan to ask for money.

    For the Igbo man says, “The one who has people is richer than the one who has money”.

    God bless you!

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