I was talking to Uncle Biola the other day and it got interesting. He is embroiled in the family section and it get funny the convos they have there about the various “isms” and everyone trying to get into their own part and all those other places.
So I remember a day I visited a girl, she served me food, and said she wanted to go discuss with her landlord about something, by the time she got back, mans had finished eating, taken his plate away and was busy doing her dishes and she was like “why are you doing that?”
Me: “Well, you just stressed yourself the eff out by fixing lunch, if I cant do the dishes, it seems mannerless”
I didn’t do that cos I am a feminist (which I am) or because I was trying to be nice but because it was simle courtesy. It is what I see sane humans doing, dont put all the task on your host or GF/wife because you are the man or because soneone is hosting you hence should be your slave. I actually find it fun to do things with other people. Cook with you and gist while at it, go to the market (okay, watching some women price things can get frustrating but I know a male friend that does it better and for longer. Nigga is annoying AF) but I think if men were to be a hell lot more considerate and respectful, people will be a whole lot less angry at men.
Yes, I used the word “anger” because a lot of people claiming feminism are not. See, there are people who just use the tag “feminism” cos they want to belong to a cause, some so called people are pseudo-feminists can range from being downright confused or to venegeful and violent.
See babes, that moment where you find yourself making statements like “I wish all men will die” or “I wish I can make all men extinct” or “if I get pregnant and see that the baby is male, I will abort it” you have crossed the “red line” (yes I went there, Buhari should coman beat me) you are not a feminist anymore, you are simply angry. See, feminists are cool people who want a better life for all women; it is not about pulling men down or anything, it is about seeing women everywhere have a shot and get that shot. It is about empowerment, it is a thing of joy. When you cross those red lines, you are not a feminist anymore; you are just angry. Angry people need help, see a darned shrink!
I was on Madhaus one day and Faith was talking about how she is a feminist bla bla bla and I was like not because she cant be a feminist but because it is disjointed so I did a little test and said “Faith, what do you think about abortion?” Her reply had Goro and I in stitches and we told her, babe, we love you and all but stay what you are; a lovely Conservative Christian babe who has a crush on almost every cute Korean actor. Feminism isn’t her thinh, famzing is not allowed (or is it?)
I read a story about a woman who was so distraught at the thought of having a male child that she actually removed her womb. In her defence, she said since she can’t get pregnant because by another woman, she will rather not be pregnant at all since. Ma’am, it is deep but not that deep. See, the moment you take your struggle past that spot of looking for ways to make the life of women better, ways to seek for equal wage and opportunities, seek for right to control her own body, sexual health and health generally, the moment it goes beyond her being able to use contraceptives, the moment it enters “I wish all men are dead” and “we women should overthrow men” you should talk to someone (please not me; I am talking to enough people, I dont want more)
See, the moment a guy calls you at a mall and you look back waiting to pounce and be a witch (not knowing that the guy just wanted to ask you the time) you should watch it.
Of course it seems I am saying these cos I am male but really? A lot of the pseudo-feminists need to freaking relax and take it down some notches.
Okay, I dont get why you as a feminist want to fight against the hijab when some Muslim women put it on forcefully but when you meet a woman who comes at you and says she willingly want to be wearing it not because she is subjugated or forced but because she loves Islam and she wants to follow the tenets, you get angry and act like she is a traitor. See part of feminism is to make life better and raise the quality of that life not making it a war against everyone that is not in allighment with every part of your “nazi” rule book.
I doubt people will remember it but the program “I need to know” used to run these ads by the UN where a girl was writing “I need choices, give me choices” see, give ladies the same choices as a male and allow them make it by themselves by showing them how “sweet” the path is. If you try to force it, you can as well name yourself a jihadist.
I for one understand how hard it has been for women, I understand how women have been held by the glass ceiling and stopped from being who and what they should be, I understand the dangers women face and how dangerous daring to choose a better life can be for women, how society pull them down and can even get physically violent against them and this feels like a battle to stop black slavery all over again but remember that even during the slave trade, there are people who were not black and stood by the slaves, there are people who went to war to stop slavery. But while people are out there trying to stand up for black folks and trying to preach love, there is a growing concern that more and more black people are becoming racist and they do not see it as wrong.
Understand that a fight that is not fought well, will only create another problem that will become another person’s cause to solve which is just a continuation of a circle.
Anger is good as it helps bring people to realism and help them take a stand but allowing it control and consume you will make you a new problem.
This is a diary post not a sub; if you feel subbed, biko, it is not my intention(I get enough hate mails already, dont add to it)
And to people who think this post is for the intention of “pick me”, I have already accepted my “singleness” and become one with it as the attached picture says
Being A Feminist
