People often say “Choose a kind partner!”
But really, what does kindness actually look like in a relationship?
If you’ve been wondering, here are some core things to keep your eyes open for:
1. They NEVER use demeaning words on you. Not playfully, and most especially not when they’re angry.
No derogatory remarks to make you feel small, stupid, or not enough. They choose their words carefully and deliberately, to express their feelings, at all times.
2. They always show genuine care about your well-being. They don’t make demands of you when they know these demands will put your health or sanity at risk.
No expecting you to pound yam when you’re pregnant, or come back from a hard day’s work and start preparing dinner.
They don’t get upset when you aren’t able to get them something you clearly can’t afford, and begin to make you feel like you’ll never measure up.
And they certainly don’t think you’re a saint who will always get it right, never allowing room for “mistakes.”
3. They’re aware of the things that trigger you, and do their best to avoid facilitating these triggers, whether consciously or unconsciously, rather than deliberately using that knowledge to hurt you.
4. They know your past and pages in your book that you never like to read out loud, yet never use them as weapons.
Instead, they reassure you over and over again, when the conversation does come up, that they love you regardless, and would never shame you for mistakes you’ve learned from, and left behind.
5. Even when they have to tell you some truths that might sting, they deliver it in the most loving way possible. They don’t purposefully lash out with the intention of leaving you devastated.
Most especially, they don’t form a habit of nitpicking everything you do, constantly finding faults to berate you over.
6. They’re always willing to help with whatever it is that makes your life easier. They don’t like seeing you unnecessarily stressed over anything at all.
As long as they’re available and can afford to, they’ve got your back.
7) They listen when you talk to them about things that are bothering you, validate your feelings, take note, apologize properly, and strive towards doing better.
On the other hand, they also pay attention to the things that you love, and make sure to do them as often as possible. Your happiness is one of their top priorities.
8. They’re supportive of your dreams and goals.
Yes, they’re also honest enough to let you know when you’re chasing waterfalls, but as long as those goals are achievable, they do everything they can to ensure that you get closer to recording that success.
9. They always have your back in public, as opposed to putting you down and making a mockery out of you, to the amusement of others, just to feed their ego.
They’d rather correct you in private if they believe you were in the wrong, than hand you over to the wolves.
Note: This doesn’t include cases of abuse or crime🙏🏽
Credit: Phoenix blvck.
