Adunbarin
That’s a Yoruba word for a friend or companion that association with the person brings blessings or has benefits.
A family were deep in poverty. Things had turned wrong for them. The family was finding it hard to get by. The mother used to be in the society crowd. As usually happens, most of her friends had deserted her. There were some remnants. There was a particular friend that would send for the mom when there was a party to attend. Sometimes, the friend would even buy the cloth for the mom.
They would go partying. The mom would return to poverty. To lack. To unpaid bills and worry. The parties were good for her spirits. Gave her temporary joy. Her husband at that point had deserted all responsibilities. Her children looked to her.
A particular Saturday the mother was dressed gaily for the event. Her rich friend had invited her along. Sent the Gele and Aso-ebi. Her daughter asked her angrily, “are you only good for escorting her to parties? Why has she not tried to assist you in finding your feet? When it is party, she will call upon you, what about when it is business?”
The mother was enraged. What insolence? What gave her daughter the temerity to ask such questions? Who sought her advice? She did not enjoy the party. The words of her daughter rang in her ears. Forced her to think. She weighed the matter on her heart. Her daughter had a point. A point that hurt in the truth of it.
She got home. Tossed upon the bed. Undertook the evaluation of her friends. One came to her mind. A quiet one. She purposed to seek and cultivate the friend for a deeper relationship.
In two years of association with that friend, things began to look up for her. The friend had opened her up to opportunities. Supported her in ways to earn more. Reduced her availability as a crutch for her richer friends that found joy in demonstrating how much better they were. Sometimes mocking her poverty in subtle ways.
She had found an “Adunbarin” . Those that facilitate opportunities for those in their circle willing to grow. Some are happy to get droplets. That’s enough for them. Some want to lift as many as are willing.
If you have not found one, seek one. More importantly be one!
