With the economic realities on the ground, I feel, as a lady, that you shouldn’t leave everything for your husband to do. It is not compulsory, it is a matter of choice. However, I still think that you should help your husband in whatever way you can.
Before I show you the ways you can support your husband, let me say this…
No matter how much money you have, please DO NOT help your husband to pay your bride price.
It will be as if though you’re marrying yourself, don’t do that. Allow him to pay your bride price by himself, he’s the one getting married to you. A man who cannot pay the bride price of the woman he wants to marry is not qualified yet to get married.
Among other things, his ability to pay the bride is what shows he’s man enough for the journey he wants to undertake.
In most places and cultures, the bride price is very cheap, so don’t help to pay the bride price.
Let me repeat, DO NOT HELP A MAN TO PAY YOUR BRIDE PRICE!. Let him do it.
Here are other ways you can support him…
1. Take care of your clothes and accessories and that of your parents.
Everything that concerns your traditional attire, Asoebi clothes, dancing clothes, wedding gown, reception clothes, shoes, bags, makeup, etc.
The clothes your parents and siblings are going to wear you can also take care of them. The money your husband-to-be will use to buy all these, he can channel it to other things on the marriage lists.
2. Buy his suits, shoes, and that of his best man
Another way you can help your husband-to-be is to buy his suits and shoes and that of his best man.
A brother wanted me to be his best man when he wanted to get married but because there was not enough money, he pleaded with me to take care of the suit and shoes I was going to wear.
This is another way you can support your husband to be taking care of the suits and the shoes he and his best man are going to wear.
3. Financial support
Marriage is capital intensive. Money is needed. No matter how you want to do it, whether big or small, money must be spent. Especially in this period of economic hardships. Your support will be highly appreciated.
You can support your man with money, give him cash, and let him use it to take care of things on the marriage list.
4. You can take care of food
Food is one of the major areas that take a large chunk of money. You can support your man by taking care of the food aspect, or just buying a thing or two there.
What is marriage without food? 🤷 🤷 Some of us come to the wedding to eat wedding jollof rice. Abeg no fall our hand 🙄🙄
5. By being understanding and appreciative
Recently, a lady called off her wedding because her man did not agree to rent a hall of 1.5 million thereabout for their reception. The man said they should use a hall of 700k but she refused and called off the wedding.
700k is some people’s entire budget for both trad and white weddings.
During your traditional marriage or wedding is not the time to start making unnecessary demands for a hall of 5 million for a one-day celebration.
I’m sorry to say this but ladies who mostly do this are those who don’t have shishi to their names, they are broke and entitled at the same time.
A lady who hustles for her money legitimately knows what going on and will show understanding.
Even if you don’t have money to support your man, you can support him by being understanding, encouraging and appreciative, by not making unnecessary demands.
Yes, it’s your special day and it’s worth celebrating but moderation should be your watchword, don’t overstretch your man because you want to impress your friends, and do your wedding according to your pocket.
6. Oversee the spending
Sit and talk with your man concerning the budget for the trad/wedding. Don’t encourage your man to spend everything he has saved over the years on just trad/wedding and then you starve in marriage. It’s not wise.
If you leave some men, they like to show off to impress their friends and to be the talk of everyone. Hence, you need to oversee the spending
These are ways I believe you can support your man during your trad/wedding.
7. Talk to your people concerning the things on the marriage list
Many families see marriage as a means of escaping from poverty, thus they will task and extort the man with too many demands.
It was in the news recently that a man called off his marriage to a lady because of too many demands.
As a lady, talk to your family about the marriage rites, and let them remove or reduce some things on the list.
This is one of the reasons why many men think that they bought the woman after getting married because of exorbitant demands. Talk to your people to remove or reduce some things on the list.
