Everybody seems to be after everybody.
Yesterday I felt bored at home and decided to go out to explore new restaurants in Abuja.
The first place I got to was like a place where young people come to mingle and make new friends, a social house.
I sat at a place where I could have an overview of everyone and ordered a cup of what they call sour palm wine which they sold for 8k.
Keenly observing everyone from my isolated corner was so interesting.
While I was enmeshed in the booze of my sour palm wine and the whispers of lies, love, lust, and laughter of lovers and the scents of spirits with ulterior motives pretending to be in love with each other, I placed an order of peppered goat meat. I felt like the cold breeze of the evening demanded something hot.
40 minutes later, Bede Edeze Oketah met me there. We spent another 30 minutes and yet, I still had not seen my peppered goat meat. Before now I had asked twice what was delaying it and got no reasonable response.
I got tired of such cold service and got somewhere else on my Google Maps. Just before we stood up to leave they brought two pieces of meat. I told the lady that I was no longer interested and thanked her for saving me 18k for two tiny pieces of peppered goat meat that took almost two hours to be served.
We got to our next stop and wow, I loved the place. It looked classy and quiet, and the girl who opened the entrance door for us made me fall in love with the place more with her beautiful smile. If not that my village people were not done keeping me single, I would have married that girl there immediately. 😒
When we got inside, we found a set of soft sofas by the dim corner and sat there. Next to me on another table were two very hot babes, the kind that would be interested in knowing your ATM card PIN.
One spirit was telling me to make my move oh. Just as I stood up to walk into the trouble, one top-ranking popular police officer who was obviously trying to disguise himself because of the way he was dressed came and sat in the hot middle of these two hot babes.
Who says there’s nothing like miracle!
Well, I have reserved that testimony for next Sunday. If God had not delayed my step, chai! By now I’m sure I would probably be in a place where you would be looking for me.
Anyways, this restaurant has very friendly workers and the basmati rice and peppered chicken wings I ordered did not take more than 10 minutes to be served.
When we were done eating, the very friendly guy who served us brought the bill. It was N138,857.24. Ok nah. Some people to doooooh.
I had forgotten my card in the car so I opted to make a transfer. While I was trying to get the figures correctly, the waiter asked me to just pay 138k and forget about the rest. I thanked him and sent 138k but that one act of overzealousness was his undoing. A waiter could never ask anyone to pay a kobo less of any bill unless he had made other arrangements, so I demanded my receipt.
He went inside to bring it but came back after 15 minutes to tell me their printers were not working. Lol.
I told him to take his time to make the printer work that I have all the time to wait but he should not make me come to the counter.
I watched as he staggered back, shivering and alarmed that he had gotten himself into trouble.
Well, it was later discovered that he added an extra 16k to the bill. When the supervisor refunded me he apologized profusely and asked if I would come again and I said Oh Yes, I will come. I will come because I’m sure the owner of the business is not a party to such pilfering.
Funny thing is, any day I’m in such a mood, I usually tip waiters an amount higher than what he had stolen from me.
This is how people’s businesses are ruined by fra¥dulent employees who would later complain that their bosses are very strict.
On my way out, I gave the 15k to the girl at the door and went home with the sparkle of her excitement in my head.
Writer: KAA
