So my air conditioner had issues days back. It stopped working completely. I tried to get in touch with the person that installed it for me who’s also a repairer of such but he told me he had traveled to the village and was going to be spending two weeks there.
I couldn’t stand the heat in the house anymore. So I drove out to buy a fan that I could manage pending the return of the repairer.
On my way out I saw this Mallam who was selling standing fan at the Junction. He intercepted me at a hold-up.
“Oga see fan here. Cool fan. E dey work steady.”
I looked at him.
I started wondering how he knew I needed a fan for myself.
“How much?”
“Oga you na boss na. If I tell you price wetin I gain? How much you fit give me?”
Ah ah!
Usually, I love it when people give me the liberty to price. So I told him I was coming and pulled over by the road side to negotiate well.
The man ran up to me.
He called a guy selling cold swan water and gave it to me.
“Oga take. I buy am for you.”
“You bought me swan water?”
“Na my style of customer service be that.”
I collected the water and drank.
“Ehen so how much for your fan?”
“Oga na you go talk. How much you fit give me for this fan now. I just wan free am for you. Sun don beat me tire.”
I looked at the fan. In the market that fan will cost 19k or thereabout. But since he told me to talk my price. I decided to call any amount.
“3k.”
“You say?”
“Make I pay 3k?”
He laughed.
“No be fufu you wan buy o oga. Na standing fan. Original standing fan. Made in Turkey.”
“Na wetin I get. Na fan seff I wan go buy for market. But I just say make I patronize you.”
“Oga I know. Add something.”
As he said add something I knew the deal was concluded. So I stood on 3k.
He told me to open the boot.
I did.
He dropped the fan inside and closed the boot.
I paid him.
He saluted me.
“My Oga. You go enjoy this fan. Na you go come back come look for me. I swear. You must look for me because of how you go enjoy the fan.”
I drove off. It was after I had driven off that I remembered I had not tested the fan yet to see if it was working.
When I got home I plugged the fan.
The fan started singing Nokia’s tone.
I pressed 1.
It told me welcome to first bank.
The back of the fan has MP3.
Instead of the fan blowing up, the fan is dancing.
3 thousand naira standing fan. 3k otilo o
I am currently at the hold up looking for the man who sold me the fan.
