Notes

When I Bought A Fan Of ₦3000

So my air conditioner had issues days back. It stopped working completely. I tried to get in touch with the person that installed it for me who’s also a repairer of such but he told me he had traveled to the village and was going to be spending two weeks there.

I couldn’t stand the heat in the house anymore. So I drove out to buy a fan that I could manage pending the return of the repairer.

On my way out I saw this Mallam who was selling standing fan at the Junction. He intercepted me at a hold-up.

“Oga see fan here. Cool fan. E dey work steady.”

I looked at him.

I started wondering how he knew I needed a fan for myself.

“How much?”

“Oga you na boss na. If I tell you price wetin I gain? How much you fit give me?”

Ah ah!

Usually, I love it when people give me the liberty to price. So I told him I was coming and pulled over by the road side to negotiate well.

The man ran up to me.

He called a guy selling cold swan water and gave it to me.

“Oga take. I buy am for you.”

“You bought me swan water?”

“Na my style of customer service be that.”

I collected the water and drank.

“Ehen so how much for your fan?”

“Oga na you go talk. How much you fit give me for this fan now. I just wan free am for you. Sun don beat me tire.”

I looked at the fan. In the market that fan will cost 19k or thereabout. But since he told me to talk my price. I decided to call any amount.

“3k.”

“You say?”

“Make I pay 3k?”

He laughed.

“No be fufu you wan buy o oga. Na standing fan. Original standing fan. Made in Turkey.”

“Na wetin I get. Na fan seff I wan go buy for market. But I just say make I patronize you.”

“Oga I know. Add something.”

As he said add something I knew the deal was concluded. So I stood on 3k.

He told me to open the boot.

I did.

He dropped the fan inside and closed the boot.

I paid him.

He saluted me.

“My Oga. You go enjoy this fan. Na you go come back come look for me. I swear. You must look for me because of how you go enjoy the fan.”

I drove off. It was after I had driven off that I remembered I had not tested the fan yet to see if it was working.

When I got home I plugged the fan.

The fan started singing Nokia’s tone.

I pressed 1.

It told me welcome to first bank.

The back of the fan has MP3.

Instead of the fan blowing up, the fan is dancing.

3 thousand naira standing fan. 3k otilo o

I am currently at the hold up looking for the man who sold me the fan.

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