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Monday, March 27, 2023

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The Venus Fly Trap In Nigerian Dating Scene

Today, we were discussing about women, dating, and money.

We had just watched a video where a man (Dandizzy) was crying about how the line between transactional sex and intimacy is being continuously blurred by Gen-Z and millennial women.

Then I was asking my friend if he thinks that relationships, whether serious or casual, have become more transactional than it used to be 10 years ago. So he told me about a phenomenon called “Venus Fly Trap.”

What’s a Venus Fly Trap?

You know a girl on social media. She doesn’t front like she’s into transactional relationships and all. Matter of fact, she maybe even talks down on sex workers and transactional sex.

But she puts on a front of a high brand chick who is emotionally needy. She’s posting pictures of herself hanging out in posh places and going to high end restaurants. She’s posting pictures of herself being driven in the passenger seats of expensive cars.

You look at her and you think, hmm, this is a big girl who has her own money. You as a broke/struggling guy automatically take yourself out of the equation. She’s obviously out of your league.

You as a man with some means, decide to hang out with her. Remember, your perception has convinced you that she’s sophisticated, and has her own money, and she’s not looking for money since she has her own. She wants other things, like company and listening ears and companionship. After all, we don’t like broke girls anymore.

So you seek her out and take her to expensive places and treat her like you treat a sophisticated woman. You rack up the bills and pay it anyway. Note that she did not ask for any of these. Na you wan carry sophisticated chick comot. While you’re out with her she’s taking photos of the nice aesthetics for portfolio purposes. In the coming weeks you’ll get to know her better, and this is what you’ll find out:

  1. She’s a regular chick. There’s no sophistication anywhere. She has broke girl problems She’s struggling and she definitely needs your money. (Have you not noticed how girls seem to be rich until you start talking to them?)
  2. You cannot get her to commit to you because that’s bad for business.
  3. The pictures she took while you hung out with her were to further polish her IG stories and SnapChat. Other men with money are definitely asking her to come over to hang out with them.

By the time your time with her comes to an end, you would have been there for her emotionally, she was great company, and you have actually spent a lot of money on performance.

You have been trapped in the Venus Fly Trap.

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