As a gainfully employed married man, if Jonathan spent $100 everyday for the next 5 years without doing anything else, he will have spent only his yearly salary. For that was the size of his annual income.
But suddenly, without warning, Jonathan lost his Job and lost all his benefits. A job he only held for 24 months; it was a 10 year- contract.
So, he wanted to flex and enjoy his “jet- life” very well before settling down to think of investments and savings.
If he was sent to Switzerland for a day, he would fly his wife and kids into Zurich for dinner with him before he leaves them to continue his work in another country while they go back to England to continue waiting for their husband and father
They were enjoying it, but he enjoyed it more.
But without any warning, his cards and all financial access was blocked.
Company went burst!
Credit Card debts mounted!
Even the MD, for the first time in 5 years, greeted Security man with “Sir” as he made his final exit; na only gate man dey remain for company for this kind of situation.
Jonathan became depressed.
His wife read the signs and increased her shift and hours to make more money for house keeping and running the home.
But, who will tend to the children when she is on those long hours over the weekend and late shifts that bring the most money?
What did he do?
He didn’t fly his mother inlaw in or sister or sister inlaw or his mother.
Jona decided to take a year off and
became a “Stay at home dad.”
He was doing well. But he was also depressed.
He was always scared that his wife might begin to resent him or look down on him; if not now, soon.
He confided in a friend who told him to seek out “Uncle Mike.”
Na so, he wrote me an epistle. But because we are not friends here at that time, I didn’t see the message for many days.
When I finally saw it, I read and made contact.
His message revealed a very ambitious and aspiring young man who seeks to be perfect in everything and anything he does.
His idea of a year off to work as a “Stay at home Dad” was in other as it would allow him time to really think what he want to do next.
So, I agreed with him on that. He is on the right track.
Anyway, as a parting advise, I told him to “note some of Madams pants and undies that are hand wash only and avoid throwing them into the washing machines.”
He laughed so hard. So I know say him don dey wash pant.
The 12 months have since passed and Jonathan received an offer of employment and partnership in a choice firm.
He will not earn so much as in his last job. But his wife would no longer have to do longer hours or work on weekends at all.
I think his current job is better for the family even though the one he lost brought more money.
Note: Lessons to Wives.
- At no point in these 12 months was he called “oji amu ejighi ego”
- Or “it is because you have all the time in the world, that is why you think only about ira otu when i am out there trying to put food on the table for this family; you especially!”
Or, “if they call men to come out now, you will also come out, abi? Keep deceiving yourself!”
Or “is Tony not your mate? What of Ken? He bought his wife a car last month. Common lipstick you cant buy. But you want to kiss! Keep following house girls in this estate up and down. You will soon catch disease.”
None of the Above.
Lessons to Husbands:
Jonathan was an excellent “Stay at home Dad.”
He washed plates in the day so that he could also wash in the night without quarrel.
He cleaned the house, made food, looked after his children and looked into their homework.
He didn’t look at the housemaid and the housemaid didn’t look at him (anyway, to the best of my knowledge because nwoke anaghi agochitere nwoke ine ya ago otu).
And his most exciting moments as a “Stay at home Dad” for a little above 12 months were when he was doing schools runs in the mornings and late afternoons when he could leave the house and look around and when his guys come to see him at home and they all play with the kids to support him over some bottles and political discussions.”
He didn’t wait for his wife to come home from work to make food and feed him and then in the night, ya achowa kwa ira otu of person wey just come back from 12 hours shift.
That is why in those 12 months, Jonathan’s wife never called him “oji amu ejighi ego” (s3x maniac) and that is also why her siblings and parents and friends didn’t hear that you don’t have a job as “onwghi ihe oma oga asi na ina eme.” He is doing nothing
And because you washed plate sadly in the day, but happily at night, that is why she has not reported you to her Pastor.
Look Enyia, learn to adjust when tines adjust.
Na advise, if you like take am as a big boy, if you like, reject am as bad boy. Ihe onye ratara na ukwu ya.
Whatever decision you make in hiur most vulnerable state will shape your victory or your failure.
May monkey never dash you banana.
Mike Ikem Umealo