MY ONITSHA EXPERIENCE
First off, if you’ve never been to Onitsha, you may not really understand this.
This city doesn’t walk; it runs.
Onitsha is like that over-hyper cousin at every family gathering: loud, dramatic, always moving, but somehow, you can’t help but love them.
DAY 1:
As I entered Onitsha, the first thing that hit me was energy.
I mean, pure unfiltered hustle-and-bustle.
You can literally smell commerce in the air. Real hustle.
Very organic and real.
And then, boom! Main Market.
Ah! If you’ve never been lost in Onitsha Main Market, have you truly been to Onitsha?
That market is its own country.
I took one wrong turn and suddenly, I was in a parallel universe of shoes, wigs, frying pans, and someone trying to sell me “original iPhone 16” for ₦15k..😂
Don’t play!
Then the Agberos and affiliate marketers (NDỊ Ọ́SỌ́ AHỊA) who drag your hand while trying to convince you to come buy what they’re not even selling.
Of course, they’ll take you to shops that are not theirs. The main owner would act like the apprentice and let them still sell to you like a Boss and add their own profit.
The Igbo slangs they call you with?
“Odogwu”, “Nwanne”, “Onye oma” “Asa”, “Nwanyị ọ́ma”
And their sudden switch to using those same funny slangs to insult you if you dare try to make them feel inferior.
“Nnaa lekwe ekuke a ooo”
“Ónyé mepere ónyé a gate?”
“Ịfụrọ́ kà ọ́ dị.. ikwikwi!”
😂
One minute they’re calling you “Chairman”, the next, it’s “Ekuke”
DAY 2:
I tried to cross the road at Upper Iweka.
My dear, it became a prayer session. I was speaking in tongues.
“Lord, if I survive this, I will never jaywalk again!”
That place is not for the faint-hearted.
But let me tell you something. Onitsha people have vibes!
Igbo boys in Onitsha will sell you anything, including your own slippers, and still convince you that you made the deal of the century.
Food?
Don’t even get me started.
One plate of Ofe Nsala and pounded yam and you’ll text your ex like, “Hey stranger…”
That soup rewired my destiny. 🍲🙏
DAY 3:
Someone shouted “Ewoo!” from across the street and without even thinking, I ran.
I didn’t ask questions. I didn’t.
Onitsha teaches you to move first and ask questions later.
But beyond the chaos, the crowd, and the comedy, there’s a magic in Onitsha you can’t explain.
The resilience. The confidence. The ambition. The spirit.
You leave there feeling like you too can buy a container and change your life.
Would I go back? 1000%
But next time, I’m wearing running shoes and carrying only my ATM card..
