One hard truth that we are not ready to discuss is that marriage makes you poorer if you are not financially ready for it.
And this is how:
Segun is earning 100k as a banker with Globus Bank in Victoria Island, Lagos.
Segun felt that he was ready to settle down and then wooed Amaka, who was his spec.
Amaka agreed, and the two got married.
Amaka had just finished her NYSC when she met Segun, so she entered the union unemployed.
The two couples started their marital journey with Segun’s 100k salary, hoping just like the average Nigerian that things would get better.
However, along the line, inflation has eaten deep into the 100k Segun’s salary, and the purchasing power that comes with earning such an amount has dropped significantly in the past 5 years since Buhari became president.
The $100,000 will be used to pay rent, fuel Segun’s car to work, feed, and pay hospital bills when Madam gives birth to their first child.
The same 100k is what they live on to feed the new baby, except their income increases due to promotion at the office for Segun or Amaka.
The result is that Segun and Amaka will struggle with the cost that comes with living in an expensive city like Lagos, except Amaka gets a high-paying job to complement what Segun is earning and Segun also gets a promotion at the office that comes with a salary increment.
We were taught as kids that he that findeth a wife findeth a good thing and obtaineth favour of the LORD, but the ugly truth is that the Nigerian economy is not growing with the pace of the population, so fewer jobs are being created, so this favour, as we were taught, will not be enough when faced with this or when hardship in marriage comes calling.
See , I believe that finance is one thing that should not be compromised when it comes to marriage.
Before you settle down, sit down with your partner to discuss finances, how much he/she is earning presently, and how to improve your finances when you settle down.
If you are a struggling man, please steer clear of a jobless woman. No matter how fine she is, run. Marrying her is pushing two of you into the poverty line and it will bring misery, resentment, and depression when it starts.
If you wish to marry a woman who is unemployed and you are barely making enough to pay your bills and yet to get your life together, please encourage her to learn a skill or a craft.
This may sound harsh, but that is the reality in today’s Nigeria.
Money is important in marriage. I love you, big dick and mind-blowing sex are not enough and can never be enough.
For so long, we have avoided having this conversation, but I believe that my generation needs to start having this uncomfortable but hard and necessary conversation.
We are more sophisticated and more educated than our parents, so we should do better and we must.