I got tired of dating younger girls
Everyday icecream, shawarma, selfies, one club to another and then at night, plenty knacks
I like knacks but guy, I’m a grown man and I have to go to work in the morning
I decided to try women my age, so my life will have focus and direction
I met someone and we were in talking stage, and I was already falling in love
She was so mature and understanding, you know when someone just understands you more than you even understand yourself
After talking stage we decided to give the relationship thing a try
Two days after we started dating, she asked me what I plan to do with my life
“Well, I’m a writer and…
“Writer, is that what you want to be in life?”
“Huh?”
“Age is not on my side Kings, so I need to know you’re capable of taking care of our kids.
“Our kids ke”
“I’m scared of my future, you’re not showing me what I want to see, Kings.”
“Aunty we just started dating two days ago, what do you want to see?”
“But you’re not serious in life, I’ve been sending you series of job applications online for you to apply”
“But I’ve been applying besides I love my writing job”
“So why haven’t you gotten an invite, besides how many successful rich male writers do you know in Nigeria?”
“Ah, calm down now, should I mention names?”
Next week she called me and said we should start buying household items and I should start saving to buy land or do I want to be paying rent for ever?
Omo, I stated missing the younger girls I was dating because what kind of pressure is this
Those ones don’t care if you’re a yahoo boy or a thug. Just bring money for parfait, shawarma or Icecream, and do selfies with them in Radisson Blu or Yellow Chilli
I decided to take my mature girlfriend out to meet my friend’s and hang out in Rumours Night Club in Ikeja
After a few minutes she whispered in my ears, “so, these are the kind of friends you have?”
“What happened to them?”
“These men to boys don’t look ambitious or serious enough to even want to settle down
Aunty, calm down, we’re in a free space where everyone wants to unwind. If we want to be serious, we’ll go to the office or Church
While we were chatting, I made a joke about her height after she jokingly called me big head
Next thing mature girlfriend shouted at me in public and in the presence of my friends
“Kings, what’s the meaning of that?”
“It’s just a joke nah, sebi you insulted me first?” I said laughing
“You’re even laughing. What kind of a joke is that?”
“Ah, baby, are you upset?”
“Don’t baby me. What kind of stu.pi.d question is that. Is that how you talk to your sisters… Please mind how you talk to me!”
She stood up and walked out to her car and drove away
That’s how I walked out of the relationship and went to my younger girls biko
I don’t need direction and focus again just come let’s go and lick Ice cream and make TikTok videos together, and not think of tomorrow, tomorrow will take care of itself mbok.
Credit: Kingdavid Chinaeke Ofunne
