Been dating on and off for a while and I wanted to share some of my insights as to why a lot of relationships don’t work.
We meet amazing people and we generally like them within days. We go on fancy dates. Talk nonstop for hours and maybe steal a kiss or two.
We start to have feelings and the dates start to be frequent, we hang out with other members of our social circle and invariably its almost like we are now in a relationship.
You guys have sex. It’s so amazing so your mind tricks you to think you guys are set for a relationship. The woman often time believes that she can’t be emotionally investing in something without a tag You guys start to date.
It’s amazing You guys laugh Cry Share ideas, Slate your exes And wonder where he or she had been all your life. At this point, no one is keeping up appearances anymore. You are getting relaxed then boom the first major fight happens.
You don’t know how to deal with it. Your default reaction is to wait it out. You blame the other person, your ego tells you he or she should be the first to apologize. Most relationships don’t make it past this first fight. Some do And it marks the beginning of many more.
You guys barely communicate. She thinks you are cheating. The only physical connection you have is when yall have sex. You fight You make up You fight You make up Then it becomes a cycle And the word toxic gets thrown around.
You cant communicate without it having sub-meanings. He is pissing u off She is pissing u off You take a break You start showing how u are living ur best lives without them But u miss him or her. Someone reaches out Yall fuck And the fights start again.
In the midst of the craziness, you see how her friends take her side How his friends say he is the best thing ever But yall don’t see it. You can barely stand each other. But you can’t leave cos of the time it seems you both have invested in the relationship.
You wonder why they are the perfect friend but the worst partner. You now slowly start to resent them. You have started speaking to other people while still dating.
They are the perfect boyfriend and girlfriend on paper But living and dating them is hell. Someone finally initiates the breakup. And we see the subs on social media. They eventually move on and start that cycle again with someone else.
The mistake yall makes Me inclusive Is not building a friendship before the relationship Id say be friends with that person for at least one year. If not yall will struggle.
Some relationships survive that struggle phase Some don’t So stop thinking you have a spiritual problem it’s you not doing things properly.
Friendship sometimes is stronger than family or even the bonds siblings have. Because over time u have taken ur time to know everything abt ur friend and even when yall fight You find a way to sort it out.
So you wonder why her friends take her side when yall fight Or how his friends don’t understand why you are always fighting with their friend Its cos you haven’t tapped into that side of them their friends know and understand.
Ask any couple what the secret to a happy marriage is They will say Marry your best friend. All the money in the world would never take the place of friendship in any relationship.
I’m no expert myself My exes would probably say I am a douchebag But looking back I have realized that we didn’t work cos we were 2 strangers in a relationship.
Give yourselves time to grow your friendship It might be what holds yall together when everything else fails.
Been dating on and off for a while and i wanted to share some of my insights as to why alot of relationships dont work. #Thread
— Cinderella Man (@Osi_Suave) September 21, 2018