Why I Stopped Offering Visitors Food At Home

I remember one time when I was a kid. My uncle came around to introduce a lady to my mum as the love of his life and like any sister would, mother accepted her with open arms.

Fast forward a couple of weeks, aunty had something to do in Ibadan, so she decided to come around and say hello to her new family.

She came around that hot Tuesday afternoon but my mum wasn’t around, neither was my dad or my sister.

My mother would have my head if I opened her door for anyone but seeing it was aunty from the other day, and knowing fully well that she doesn’t stay in town, I opened the door and made her feel at home.

Aunty said she was famished, so I
1. Brought out the lunch my mum had prepared for the family *wrong move*
2. Set the table for her
3. Told her to dive in till she was okay *another wrong move*.

Please note that we were and still are just four in my family and up until now, we are all light eaters.

So imagine my surprise when aunty took the first, second, third and fourth rounds in quick succession.

Before I could say aunty I was just playing…. The cooler of jollof, innumerable plantains and six pieces of meat that accompanied it were gone! Just like that!

My entire family’s lunch was gone!

She even had the gut to tell me “thank you the meal was so nice!! Was mummy expecting me?”

Yes o, and your whole family sef. If only she knew.

Anyway, my mum got back and she dint spank me. In fact she appreciated the fact that I didn’t tell her the meal belonged to four of us.

But after that time ehn… If you come to my house and think I’d offer you food in everyone’s absence just because you’re doing your eyes one kind, you have something else coming. If you’re lucky and the hunger doesn’t kee you before Mummy Jummy gets back.

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