Can we ‘bleep’ about Masturbation for a moment?
Is it wrong? Is it right?
I’m not going any biblical, so relax.
My friend Suzanne who is a Medical Director and writes for healthline.com had this to say in one of her articles:
“Masturbation is a common activity. It’s a natural and safe way to explore your body, feel pleasure, and release built-up sexual tension. It occurs among people of all backgrounds, genders, and races.”
Though medically I agree with her on a surface level, but I don’t think it is:
Truth guys is masturbation is a misuse of intent and misappropriation of ‘equipment’.
It takes two to tango!
If you see half of what we see clinically, you’d keep your hands where we can see them every time.
A masturbation session can go awfully bad if you’re not careful and which one of us is even 20% careful when “doing the do?”.
Justin, a writer for an online magazine mailed Dr. Santucci, a urologist for us to find out some clinical cases related to masturbation and he gave us these…
A 17-year old boy had been masturbating for over 6 minutes when he suddenly heard a ‘plop’ sound.
Immediately, his organ went flaccid. Then it started swelling till it was almost thrice its normal girth.
Parents got him to the hospital in time, and after reconstructive surgery, boy had his tool back but stitched up.
He doesn’t think twice about touching himself no more. The boy is in US, that’s why he could get surgery immediately. You, you’re here in Nigeria.
If your penis break and swells, OYO is your case.
Na aboniki and church dem go carry you go. Use your head to avoid stories Bros…
I can send you the pictures Doctor Santucci sent us if you think I’m lying.
A woman in California sued a dildo company after she got back from surgery.
She was masturbating with this huge dildo when the thing went too far and ruptured one of her deep iliac arteries. She almost died but surgery saved her.
Again, what if it was you here in Nigeria?
Be there using Candle and spoon and coke bottle.
You’re really “doing” yourself by yourself.
Who will you sue to pay for your surgery?
Use your head my dear sister!
Some guys like inserting things into their urethra or the opening on the tip of their sex organs.
A man in Australia did that with a 4-inch nail and after much stitching and cutting and sewing, today his urination is like when you open a sachet of pure water from two places. I know you here in Nigeria, you’re in stick of broom stage. Bro,if the broomstick break inside, na only prayer we go pray for you.
Those of you who like to put your things inside the mouth of animals, one of your associates tried it in Connecticut if I’m not mistaken, the damn dog tore off his scrotum and part of his corpus cavernosum.
Man is dickless now.
Those of you that use all manner of liquid to jerk off; soaps, saliva, creams, perfumes, insecticides, even draw soup seff, you might risk diseases. Serious ones.
Most times, a lot of guys don’t wash well. If you use soap and saliva and end up not washing well for days, you might notice green things growing around your penis and your pubic hair region.
That’s not green hair, its a sign that bacteria have come to do New Year on you.
You’ll first develop fever, then your penis will change color. It’s called “Fournier’s Gangrene”. Your manhood will rot before your eyes and if it’s cut off early, lucky you. If not, greet Father Abraham for us.
Ladies, dildos can kill you, those huge ones feel good but are dangerous. A lady was ” doing the do” to a fast tempo song and she unknowingly ruptured her left iliac artery and because she was also high on drugs, she didn’t notice the blood.
She ruptured the right iliac artery too.
Before morning, she was dead in a pool of her own blood. I bet she didn’t even know when she died.
When she wakes up on the other side, e go be like film for her eye.
I’ll love to add more stories, even those I’ve seen here in Nigeria. But if these ones don’t make you stop it. Nothing will.
If you want to stop it, stop it. Stop feeling like anyone is begging you to do what’s good for you.
If you’re brought before a doctor, he’ll do his best with available resources.
A Facebook post is enough for the wise.
The post is funny but the pains and results of masturbation is not funny at all.
I know a lot of you have stopped it just by reading this already.
My name is Harrison Emu, now save another life by sharing this. Call or Whatsapp me on: +2348147304010 to talk about anything medical.