WHEN THE NAGGING SUDDENLY STOPS
One of the greatest mistakes we make as men is to bask in the euphoria of victory when the wife suddenly stops complaining or nagging. We celebrate our phantom victory, ignorantly mistaking her silence to mean that she has been subdued or she has finally accepted what was making her complain or nag. A woman is known to nag and fight over a man for whom she has feelings for, she moves to protect her territory at the slightest sign of encroachment. She wants him to be perfect, she tries to make him fit into her fantasy image of Mr right. A wise man shouldn’t be worried when the nagging is going on, however, you should be very worried if the fighting and nagging suddenly stops. If she suddenly starts to ignore the things that used to make her quarrel and fight, pay closer attention and move to make things right before you loose her for good.
When a woman stops nagging or complaining, one of two things may have happened. She has either fallen out of love for you and does not care about you or what you do anymore or she is talking to or planning to start talking to someone else. She may not be cheating yet, she may not even be planning to cheat, but she is certainly ready to talk to someone who has the patience to listen to her whine about the time and energy she has put into the marriage or relationship. Your marriage therefore depends on the temperament of the person she talks to. A woman is naturally very patient and will usually give you many clear signs and warnings before cheating. If you pay attention , you will notice her frustration gradually fade away leaving an unusually peaceful and very confident disposition, at that point she is trying to convince herself that she can do without you, you will also begin to notice some bold independent moves, if she didn’t keep Friends, you will begin to see some around her, she may also start to dress differently, paying particular attention to her looks and appearance, wearing a bit more makeup and so on. She may not leave you especially if there are children involved, but at this stage she certainly does not have feelings for you anymore, she has the capacity to pretend until death do you path.
When the nagging suddenly stops, the only way to ensure she doesn’t do something silly, which will hurt you and hurt her as well is to talk to her, you may have to woo her all over again. Try to be patient because she may be enjoying her emotional freedom and will be very reluctant to give that up for you again that easily. Don’t worry somewhere deep inside her, the feelings are still there, whatever made her say yes to you the first time will make her say yes again, no matter how she tries to throw you off, don’t bulge, be persistent and consistent in your effort to win her back, she will definitely be yours again.
Someone may ask why put in all this effort to win over a woman who wants to leave, I always tell them that the devil you know is better than the angel you don’t know. If you leave wife no1 and settle for wife no2, what guarantees do you have that the person won’t be worse than your ex, also bear in mind that once you start a new relationship, especially if the person hasn’t been previously married, you will be starting from a disadvantaged position, you will tolerate worst things fromher for fear of being labelled a failure in relationships, you may have to endure much worse to save face. These are the things to consider before you decide to let her go.
I know there are women who are incorrigible and will not be appeased once they have fallen out of love, latched onto greener pastures or have falling in love with someone else, if you try and she refuses to be appeased, you may not have much choice but to let her go. Make sure you make a note of the the things she used to complain about, women reason almost alike, chances are your new wife will complain about the same things and may not be as patient or as nice as your first in her approach to correct you. Date for a while before you commit, while It is difficult to recover from a first marriage and find happiness again, it is almost impossible to recover from the failure of a second marriage.
I suggest you leave pride out of your marriage, forget about your fat bank account or how many slay queens/gold diggers chasing after you and do all you can to ensure it doesn’t break, you will be happy you did. A very high percentage of divorced couples regret the extra mile they didn’t go, they wonder if they gave up too soon, don’t let that be your story, the pride you swallow today will transcend into the celebration of silver and golden jubilee of your marriage in future. Don’t be in a hurry to give up, no marriage is perfect, stop and think, you may be moved to forgive, compromise and keep your home intact .
I know some chronic Thomases will say that chief Akwaja is not married and shouldn’t talk on this issue but they forget that “ndi father (Roman Catholic priests) has no wife but they still give marriage counseling.