I have also come to realize that the most important thing when going into a marriage is not love. Don’t let your heart deceive or make the choice for you. A marriage is supposed to be forever so why should you trust your heart to make that decision for you when you have a brain?
The most important factor is actually compatibility. Can you live with this dude or babe for the next 45 years without wanting to divorce her or kill him? Because lets face the fact, you can love a guy who cheats on you and beats you. Yes, the heart will love who the heart will love.
You can fall in love with someone and then discover that he is all wrong for you what do you do? Falling in love is not the prerequisite for a relationship or a marriage and until you realize that, your falling in love is a direct result of how you program yourself and you can love anyone with those same set of qualities which in essence just means that love is not that important which is true.
Lets stop trying to lie to ourselves and telling ourselves “I love this girl/guy so much, I can’t do without her” do you think you can live with her?
Are you perfectly okay with that guy who swept you off your feet and makes you gidi each time you think of him or think of something associated with him? Can you take the person’s flaws?
People say “Love conquers all” but you should remember that as a woman you don’t want to be stuck in an abusive relationship just because you love the guy or a potential cheat just in the name of love. As a man are you willing to bind yourself to a serial and professional nag?
As a man can you survive a man who works 6am to 9pm? Can you deal? Think well before you commit to this thing called love.
And there is something else we fail to think of. This person you so love and you are willing to tie yourself to is not the last person you will love. Yes I said it.
Let me tell you the truth, ask married folks who are honest, you will love other people even while married. Your wife/husband is not the last human being you will love or wish to have what happens then since you think you have to be with someone cos you love them, do you run off each time you find someone you love?
In your quest for a future partner, hold on, find someone who embodies everything you want and is happy to have that and then work on having your emotions align with that not your emotions attaching themselves and then your standards changing.
Can you survive 45 years with the person? Just think of marriage this way. If you are to be locked up in a cell for the next 45 years with the person you “love” do you think you will come out after 45 years and want to go back?
That is what should decide who you marry.
Yes I said it