Dear Nigerian Women, Like Attracts Like

Mike Ile

THIS IS NOT A SUB

Before you go about insulting Nigerian men of being classless according to your own fake standards, I hope you do realize that it is easier to be mature, loving, civil, classy, and caring, to a woman who is also those things herself.

You cannot behave like a garage girl and expect your man to be with you as a happy man is with his own wife. It takes two.

Don’t ever forget that as a man tries to prove himself worthy of you, you also MUST show yourself worthy of that effort.

Look at those who treat their partners in certain ways; most of them are quite happy in those relationships and see their partners as the be all and end all.

As it is with woman, so it is with man. When you are happy and treated in a particular way, it’s easier to reciprocate likewise.

When all you do is sit back, nag, gossip over everything and everybody, throw words about like conductors on an agbegilodo expedition, it becomes rather difficult to be civil around you.

When all you do is try to prove that you don’t really care how your relationship ends, when you always display that “there are many fish in the river” mentality, you don’t give happiness and so, don’t expect it in return.

A classless woman should focus on her kind and stop making noise about how foreign men are classy. You forget how foreign women behave too? Go on foreign female threads; they don’t spend days talking about who should give transport fare after a visit.

We are who we are. Our men and our women. We are just who we are. Our women don’t behave like those women. Our men don’t behave like those men.

So…..we will continue to give our women transport fare and ‘thanks for the sex’ honorarium. We will not judge them. We should not. We will continue to read them casting drama on social media about how one girl or the other bewitched their husbands with juju. We will watch them fight each other over the most trivial, meaningless stuff. We will not judge them even though most of those things are classless.

Because we know that class is not just wearing beautiful clothes. Class is a product of habit and it cannot be wished. If you don’t have it, you don’t.

We will accept our women for who they are.

They, in turn, must accept us with our flaws.

My mama told me, “If you don’t like how your woman dresses, don’t complain. Drive to a store and change her wardrobe.”

So…..women. You have two choices.

1. If your man is classless, leave him. Get and visa. Relocate where classy men dwell and find yourself the man that defines class in your own estimation.

2. Work with him. Influence him. By leading. Not fake Facebook posts. Lead him at home, daily. When he goes low, show your class. A man who knows his onions will follow, naturally.

I personally know a lot of folk who are classless so it irks me to see them talk about class as if their very existence oozes class.

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